Lady Gaga's News

Lorises have a toxic bite actually so actually quite serious actually

Lady Gaga has been bitten by a slow loris, which, if you think about it, is akin to the JFK shooting or the moon landing on the scale of 'important, historic events'. You'll always remember where you were when you heard this news, heat reader. Imagine yourself, forty years into the future. "I'll always remember where I was," you'll tell your grandkids, busily ignoring you on their hoverboards. You are misty-eyed and happy. You are sat in a rocking chair made of holograms and lasers. "I was sat in front of my computer," you'll say. "Trying really hard to avoid doing any real work."

Anyway, yes: Lady Gaga has been bitten by a slow loris, on set at Hearst Castle in California, while filming a video for upcoming single G.U.Y. (Guy Under You).

How do you go about getting bitten by a slow loris? If you are Lady Gaga, like this: you invite an (apparently not very 'on it') animal trainer to bring a goat, a slow loris and a baby kangaroo to add to the troupe of synchronized dancers you are already filming with, then let the aforementioned slow loris get loose and bite you on the back of the ankle. That's how.

Apparently Gaga laughed the incident off, but the loris in question was taken to the loris equivalent of the naughty step.

"The slow loris is the cutest creature on the planet, and Lady Gaga wanted to use it in one scene, but it nipped her," a source told the New York Post. "They put it back in its box and took it away in disgrace." ¬THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, SLOW LORIS. Now go to your room.

This is not the first time the combination of cute slow loris + A-list star has made headlines in the past few months - in September, a selfie Rihanna took in Thailand of her posing with a loris kept illegally as a pet led to the arrest of two men.

Anyway, before you worry about what is going to happen about the video now Lady Gaga's slow loris has been put away, don't worry: the loris was replaced with cameo appearances from Real Housewives of Beverley Hills housewives Kim and Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Yolda Foster and Carlton Gebbia. Mind-boggling.